Remorse
by arisfilan
Summary: Rukawa came home for him... but he'd rather not see him again... (suck at summaries) 3rd chap UP!!! please review! thanks!
1. Kahit ano na lang

Title: Remorse 

Author: arisfilan

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: RuHana in the making

Warning: err… short chap?

Part I. Coming Home

Seven years have passed since he last saw Kanagawa.  He felt happy that nothing much has changed.  Spending the last 7 years in Tokyo to pursue his dream of becoming the no. 1 basketball player in Japan was years of grueling practice and extensive training. It wasn't at all waste for now he is planning to go to America to become the best player in the whole world. 

Yet, he knows he has to come back, to return to the place where it all began.  

Because when he's already in America there will be no turning back.  There will be no what-ifs, no regrets, no remorse.

Being the sleepy-head that he always is, it was very odd for Rukawa Kaede not to sleep and think (maybe not the thinking part =P), while on board the plane, droning and lulling him but awake. He gazed out the plane window, and thought of the people whom he had left seven years ago.  His former team-mates and Anzai-sensei. 

He talked to Anzai-sensei before leaving, in fact he was the one who persuaded him to try his luck in Tokyo.  Then he remembered Kogure, Mitsui, Miyagi and Ayako, who bid him goodbye on the airport. He was not able to talk personally to Captain Akagi, to explain and to make things clear.  He knows that he has to, anyway.

_And Sakuragi… _

Rukawa took a deep breath, he wanted to talk to him.  He even went to his house before his flight but the redhead refused to see him.  It was hard leaving Kanagawa with all the emotions bottled inside his heart but he has to, for his own peace of mind… and for Sakuragi's.

Author's Notes:

Too short?

Gomen nasai! I'm a new fanfic writer and erm... don't worry I got 3 more chaps too put up, I'm having Crescent beta-read this before posting. 

I hope you'll like it. REVIEW PLEASE!


	2. Haruko's Confession

Title: Remorse 

Author: arisfilan

Rating: PG-13

****

Part II.          Haruko's Confession

Rukawa had sold his house in Kanagawa so he had to check into a hotel. After calling several connections, he found out from their former basketball team manageress, Ayako that Akagi was working in ANGLEE law office as a paralegal assistant.

"Akagi, someone's looking for you," one of the employees called out.

"I'm coming. Just take care of this papers, okay? Mr. Lee will need this at his hearing at 2:00 pm," Akagi replied.

"Who's looking for me?"

"He said he's one of your former teammate."

Akagi was surprised to see a tall raven-haired man standing outside his office.

"Rukawa…  Long time no see," Shohoku's former center shook his hand, "When did you arrive?"

"Just this morning.  Can I talk to you for a while?"

"Sure. Why don't we just go to the café? It's my lunch break anyway."

"Okay."

In the café.

"So, Rukawa, how are you? I've heard you're doing good in the All-Japan team," Akagi place two cups of hot java on the table. Rukawa sat opposite to him.

"Well, I'm fine."

"Still short for words?"

"I don't think so," Rukawa took a sample of his java. Realizing it was kind of hot, he put it down and languidly stir it with a teaspoon. 

"What would you want to talk about?"

"Your sister.  I really didn't mean to…"

"I think we should forget about it," Akagi closed his eyes, "It was years ago and besides we can't do anything about it anymore."

 "But I have to explain.  I have to tell you what happened.  I know you're still hurt, she was a very nice person and much nicer sister. I owe you an explanation."

*Flashback*

Rukawa just finished his personal basketball practice and was on his way home when he saw a pretty brown-haired girl outside the gym.

The girl was already approaching when he recognized that she was Akagi Haruko, the younger sister of their captain and the apple of the do'aho's eyes.

"Rukawa, can I…umm…can I talk to you?"  Haruko asked, blushing to the roots of her hair.

"Hmm…" _What would she want to talk about?_

"Can we go to the park? It's more private there."

"Okay." Quite annoyed by this disruption of his sleeping schedule, he nodded.

While walking, Haruko tried to start a conversation.  Asking anything that comes to her mind to the taciturn pale boy walking beside her.

"Do you practice everyday?" she glanced at his side.

"Yeah."

"Don't you feel tired?"

"No."

"When did you started playing basketball."

"Since I was a boy."

"How did you learn to play that good?"

"I don't know."

"Do you think you can—oops! We're already here.  Let's sit there," she pointed to the bench near the children's playground that was deserted at that moment.

"Uhmm… Rukawa-kun… I know it's very bold of me to talk to you like this but I… I have to do it."

Is she going to confess her feelings for me?

"I've heard that you're going to train for the All-Japan Team and you'll be gone for long, is that right?"

"Yes."

"I don't think I can wait that long to tell you that…" Haruko started to fidget.

"…" _That?_

"That…"

"…" _That what? Are we going to spend the whole night here?_

She took a deep breath as if she stayed underwater for too long.

"That I love you, Kaede-kun"

"…" _How do I answer that?_

The silence after that was unbearable. He knows that he had to say something. He's been waiting for the moment to tell this girl that he doesn't like her so that the do'aho won't be mad at him. So that the do'aho would stop form beating him whenever he's jealous of the attention given to him by Haruko.

"Sorry."

"Huh?" Haruko was bewildered.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" 

"I don't love you."

"You don't love me? Why?" Tears were forming in her eyes. "Why? Is it because I'm not pretty or it is because I act like those stupid girls who faint whenever you're near? Why?" The tears she tried to control are slowly falling down her cheeks.

"It's not about you. I love somebody… somebody else."

"Who? I know I don't have the right to ask this, but who?  Who is she?"

"You wouldn't want to know." 

"No, I want to know. Please." Haruko pleaded. 

"No, Haruko-san. You don't have to know."

_Oh God! Why is it so hard to tell her that I love the person who worships her? _

How can I tell her that I love that idiot who blushes like the color of his hair whenever she smiles to him? 

_How can I tell her that I love… Sakuragi?_

Soft sobs are now coming from Haruko.

Why is she crying? Doesn't she realize that she's lucky having Sakuragi's love?  Isn't it enough that such adorable and loving person is in love with her? If Sakuragi was in love with me, I would be the happiest person in the whole world.

"I'm sorry Rukawa. I didn't mean to bawl like a baby in front of you," Haruko said, sniffing.

"I understand."

"I-I have to go. Takenori-nii-chan would be looking for me."

"Okay."

"Bye."

"Bye."

"And Rukawa…" Haruko took her last glance at him, "I wish that you would be happy with her."

"Thanks." _Him not her._

*End of Flashback*

"Sou ka…," Akagi's eyes were misted. "When she got home, I noticed that her eyes were red from crying. I asked her why but she just told me that her head is aching and she needs rest so I let her go to her room to get some sleep. When I knocked at her room in the morning, she didn't answer and her door was locked. I was worried because she never locks her door. And when I opened her room, I saw her on the bed with…" Akagi stopped, remembered erring his sister lying in her bed, eyes closed and blood all over the sheets.

"…with her left wrist slashed while the other hand was clutching a picture of you," Akagi continued with tears threatening to fall.

"I'm very sorry. I was so insensitive. I didn't know that she would be hurt like that," Rukawa softly said.

"I guess we both underestimated my sister's feelings for you. I thought it was just a petty infatuation, I didn't realize that she loved you so much."

"I shouldn't have told her that."

"Stop feeling guilty, it wasn't your fault. Let's just try to forget it. I know that Haruko is happy wherever she is right now."

"All of you blamed me for her death." Rukawa couldn't look at him in the eye.

"No, I guess we just wanted someone to vent our anger to but really it wasn't your fault."

They fell silent after that. They continued eating the food they ordered.

"Don't tell me you came all the way from Tokyo just to ask for my forgiveness?" Akagi broke the ice.

"I'm planning to start a new life in America. I want to put all the bad things behind."

"You're going to America? Are you joining NBA?" Akagi said, still a bit awed with the former Shohoku Ace.

"Well, yes that's what I've been trying to do."

"I know you'll succeed. I never told you this before but you're a very good player."

"Very good? Not the Best?"

"You sounded like the self proclaimed Tensai." 

_Sakuragi…_

Rukawa stopped, he never asked Ayako about Sakuragi. He haven't asked where the do'ahou is coz if he knew where he is, he won't have any reason not to look for him. He doesn't have the courage to face the person he had hurt the most.

Akagi noticed his silence.

"We haven't heard from him since he quit the team," he said instead.

"He must have been hurt about what happened. He likes Haruko so much." Rukawa look at him in the eye.

"I guess so, he's always been such an impulsive guy. He does whatever he wants without thinking about the consequences of his actions," Looking at his watch, Akagi straightened his form. "Rukawa, I have to go. My break is almost over."

"Thank you for talking to me."

"Well, it's nice seeing you again."

"Thanks again, Bye."

"Bye."    

  
  
  


Arisfilan: Second chap! I really hope you'd appreciate this. The fic might look to bland but *scratches head* I really want to post this up so…

Crescent: Hey, you promised a movie for this.

Arisfilan: Nani?! It looks awful!

Crescent: C'mon, I don't want to ruin your writing style.

Arisfilan: some beta reader u are.

Crescent: *grins* I'll do better after our exams okay? *steps out of the room*

Arisfilan: *sigh* Please read and reiview, minna-san! Thank you to the following:

**Kristel – ummm, no, not a sad one demo Haruko died here… thanks for reviewing!**

**Nakkie – hi! This one's a 6 page chap. Still short? Ehehe! Thank you! At least Rukawa knows he love Hana here… **

**Tina Caps – I've heard about you! My friend says ur fics are good! Thanks for reading this… it's not much but I think I progressed a bit! Thank you!**

**Ayu – thanks, I really appreciate that u liked it!**

**Crescent – what are you doing here? *eyes her suspiciously* you should be editing my other works! *drags her in front of the computer* hehe, ore wa tensai!**


	3. Sakuragi's Grief

Title: Remorse Author: Arisfilan Disclaimer: I don't own the SD guys. They belong to somebody else... but Kaede owns my sexy body and soul.hehehe.......  
  
  
  
  
  
Part 3. Sakuragi's Grief  
  
The clouds covering the sun adds gloom to the cemetery where Rukawa was sitting beside Haruko's grave.  
  
The only sound he can hear was the soft sobs and occasional coming from a nearby grave where a coffin was being lowered. He feel rather than see the tears from the eyes of the persons left by their loved one. Some were crying their hearts out while the others kept their composure and sometimes content their anguish with the whispering of their parted beloved's name.  
  
Chills went down his spine. For it was like the scene seven years ago at Haruko's funeral.  
  
A lot of people came to her funeral; a lot of people came to give their respect to the little sweet girl who touched their lives. Her teachers, her friends and classmates, the Sakuragi Gundan, the whole Shohoku team and even Anzai-sensei were there.  
  
As much as possible, he does not want to think about that day. It was the most painful day in his life.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
Rukawa was having second thoughts about coming to the funeral. He was not able to talk to Akagi before the funeral and since Coach Anzai's announcement that there would be no practice for a week, he never went to school again. He felt guilty after hearing about Haruko's suicide. And the fact that Haruko was holding his picture when she died made him responsible for her death.  
  
HE knew that he had to come. Going to her funeral was the least he can do for the person who must have loved him so much. He wanted to ask for her forgiveness, for the insensitivity that he had showed her even for the last moment of her life.  
  
He was approaching the crowd when Sakuragi saw him. With eyes blazing with fury, he punched Rukawa so hard that the dark-haired boy fell.  
  
"It was all your fault! You bastard! You cold-hearted bastard! What did you do to her?" With that shout, he punched Rukawa again, cutting the boy's lips.  
  
Mitsui and Kogure tried to restrain Sakuragi from attacking Rukawa while the other people were staring at the scene Sakuragi was doing.  
  
"You killed her! And now you have the guts to show that fucking face of yours!" "Stop it Hanamichi! Please be quiet. The people are staring at us," Kogure pleaded while clutching Sakuragi's arms.  
  
"Sakuragi, stop acting like a crazy man. Respect my sister's funeral," Akagi ordered.  
  
Looking with Rukawa with pure hate, Sakuragi scowled, "Why are you letting that criminal in Haruko's funeral? It's his entire fault. We wouldn't be here if not for that bastard! Haruko would not be inside that coffin if not for him!" And then he was crying. Tears fell down continuously, all the pain and anger visible in his chocolate brown eyes.  
  
"You killed her. You killed Haruko!"  
  
*End of Flashback*  
  
Rukawa could not forget the pain he felt at that moment. Sakuragi was looking at him with all the pain and anger he haven't seen before. Sakuragi was crying because of him. He was so sorry for hurting him that much. Why did he do it? Why did he hurt the person he loves the most?  
  
He wanted to hold Sakuragi. He wanted to hold him in his arms. He would have done anything to ease some of the pain Sakuragi was feeling.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
At their first practice, a week after the funeral, everyone was still silent and subdued. There was no bickering and bantering, and Akagi was not his usual growling self. They were already practicing when the gym doors opened, and Sakuragi entered wearing his school uniform. He immediately went to Anzai-sensei.  
  
"I want to quit the team," he said, plain and emotionless. Anzai-sensei merely looked at him in surprise.  
  
"Sakuragi." Akagi called.  
  
"I'm sorry, Akagi, but I will quit the team," he repeated turning to him. Akagi was quite stunned, hearing his name coming from the redhead baka he used to bash because of his stupid name-calling.  
  
Kogure approached him, "Sakuragi, you're not serious aren't you?" hoping against hope that it was not for real.  
  
"Please think it over before deciding and besides Haruko wouldn't like you to quit the team," Ayako added. Now, everyone was watching him.  
  
"Gomen Ayako-san, Megane-kun. But my decision is final. I guess. it's goodbye," he suddenly turned his back and started walking towards the door. When.  
  
"Sakuragi! Don't leave the team. If you don't want to be in the team with me, then I'll go."  
  
Everyone was surprised. They never heard Rukawa call Sakuragi other than do'aho nor he ever speak more than two words when talking.  
  
"I'm not quitting because of you or anybody else," Sakuragi replied without looking at the kitsune, "I'm quitting the team because I want to."  
  
He went out after that, leaving the team as silent as before. Youhei informed them, days after that incident, that Sakuragi would be transferring to another school.  
  
Rukawa was devastated. He wanted to talk to Sakuragi before leaving for his training in Tokyo. Not that he expected the redhead to dissuade him from going, because that was impossible, but at least to iron things out. He would even go down to his knees and ask for forgiveness if Sakuragi asked him to. But when he went to his house, the redhead refused to see him.  
  
"Good afternoon Youhei, Is Sakuragi in there?"  
  
"Rukawa?! Yes, yes, he's here." Youhei was surprised, widen the door for him.  
  
"Can I talk to him?"  
  
"Sure. I'll just call him."  
  
Youhei came back after a few seconds, looking a little bit uncomfortable.  
  
"Umm. Rukawa. I'm sorry but I didn't noticed that Sakuragi went out a while ago."  
  
"Don't lie, Youhei, just tell him that I have to talk to him," the fox-boy strained to keep his composure.  
  
"Gomen nasai but he really doesn't want to talk to you."  
  
  
  
"Please?"  
  
Youhei was dumbfounded, Rukawa asking politely? "You know Sakuragi, he's so stubborn. I tried to persuade him to talk to you but he refused. Sorry."  
  
" Okay." Rukawa felt defeated. "Just tell him that. that. I'll be leaving for Tokyo tomorrow."  
  
*End of Flashback*  
  
Rukawa was still lost in his thoughts so he didn't notice that someone was walking towards where he was sitting. The man carrying flowers was walking hurriedly but suddenly stopped upon seeing that someone was sitting on the grave that he visits every year.  
  
He was rooted on the spot, looking closely at the person sitting beside Haruko's grave. After recognizing the dark-haired, pale man, his eyes suddenly became flooded with emotion, confusion, pain, surprise and something else. With a small voice he whispered, "Rukawa?"  
  
With all the painful memories muddling his brain, it was surprising that Rukawa still heard that small whisper. His heart beating loudly, he slowly turned his face up to see who called him. He was blinded by the shock of fiery red hair that greeted his sight.  
  
"Sakuragi?!"  
  
-tsuzuku-  
  
Authors Notes:  
  
AT LAST!!!!!!!! I have finished chapter 3. Hope you like it.^....^  
  
Sorry if it took me looonnnggggggg before updating. Well, theres so many school work, I have to submit this, I have to read that, I have to watch this, etc.....uhmm..okay , I admit it I'm just lazy. Anyways, I'm just pretending to be a writer so it took me days (weeks...) before coming up with a new chapter.  
  
I would like to thank all those nice, kind, pretty, sexy, people who reviewed my work. Arigatou. 


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